Natural Reactions

Next to the Power Lines page this page is one of the most important pages on this website because it teaches you that the reason most people are suffering is because they are letting their natural reactions run their lives. Indeed, a synopsis of emotional healing can be characterized by simply this: It is the journey of going from 'reacting' to life to 'responding' to life. Please read the following information carefully.

Natural reactions are great if they are coming from a healthy foundation, but if they are coming from a wrong or weak foundation they can be damaging, and even fatal. For example, you take an athlete who trains 4 - 6 hours a day, so that they can be their best on game day. Their natural reactions will be practically perfect and will help them achieve success in their sport. On the other hand, if you take somebody struggling with anxiety, and give them yet another situation to juggle in their lives, their natural reactions to everyday negative situations will be less than perfect and can further complicate their already mismanaged lives. Just like an athlete who trains each day, and continually strengthens themselves and polishes their athletic abilities, people can also train in the area of thinking and reaction abilities in everyday life to achieve a greater measure of personal well-being. This kind of training sharpens their ability to respond quicker and more effectively to stressful situations in their lives. We explain more about this technique in our coaching sessions.

Natural Reactions To Pain
But getting back to the area of natural reactions, I would like to talk to you about our natural reaction when there is pain in our lives. I remember when my wife gave birth to our first child, she was in labor for nearly 24 hours. At first she did well, but as the hours extended to double digits, her spirits began to decline. Finally in the last quarter, her mind started to conjure up reasons why ‘God was giving her such a difficult delivery’. God was not giving her a difficult delivery. Child birth is going to be painful no matter how you look at it. Back to the natural reaction to pain, she began to ‘conjure up’ reasons why this was happening to her, and her mind took her back throughout her whole life and she began to remember all the times she hurt somebody trivially, by word or by action, and she became convinced that the reason she was in the position she was, was on account of all the mistakes she had made. We tried to tell her differently, but when you are in a lot of pain, your reasoning has a difficult time in convincing your heart other than what it feels. The same thing happens to people who suffer emotional pain. They begin to think back to all the times they erred, and they become convinced that ‘God is doing this too me because I did this and that....’. No, God is not doing this to you. The problem arises by us believing everything that comes into our mind. By doing this, we sabotage your own happiness. The truth is, God hates to see you suffer, and he has provided you with ways to resolve things like guilt, through forgiveness and making amends (see ‘Faith and Guilt’). Other problems of life can be resolved by responding to them differently so that there is no anxiety attached to them.

So to summarize, a natural reaction to pain is self-inspection. When your pain resurrects past situations of possible guilt, you assess the situation, you determine if you were guilty, if so, you make amends and you go on. Pain, with its natural reaction to self-assess isn't a bad thing. It causes you to do a thorough 'house-cleaning' of your heart. After that is complete, you are then ready to enjoy a new string of successes in your life.
 

Natural Reaction When Somebody Hurts You
When somebody hurts you the natural reaction is to want to hurt them back. The best thing to do is to forgive them. Many people who have retaliated have been gravely hurt, and even killed for lashing back. The best thing to do is to forgive the person. Many people who refuse to forgive, imprison themselves while their perpetrator walks away free of care. Thus the act of forgiveness is actually for the person who got hurt, not so much for the person who did the hurting. It may feel like you cannot forgive the person, but like love, forgiveness is an act of the will. You chose to do the right thing, you choose to forgive, and then let God handle perpetrator in His own way and time. That is faith. You blindly entrust God with the paybacks and then cross off 'retaliation' on your 'To Do' list. You will know you have truly forgiven the person when you find yourself no longer obsessing about the incident.

 
Natural Reaction When You Feel Depressed
Sometimes when you feel down, you make the mistake of trying hard not to look depressed and you create anxiety for yourself because you are always trying to be somebody you are not. Like the person who breaks their leg, a doctor will tell them not to put too much weight on it, for a few weeks. The same goes for someone who is troubled emotionally, 'don't put to much weight' on your personality. Like the person with the leg cast, become more of a spectator for a while, until your spirit regains strength. And how does a person replenish their weak spirit? By feeding it positive truths.

Another natural reaction when experiencing emotional problems, is that you secretly try to find the solution yourself, with as few people knowing as possible. Quite often you waste time and prolong the pain. Go against your natural reaction and tell your doctor and loved ones how you feel, and then together search for the help you need.

Rather than 'react' to life, begin to 'respond' to life. If you are unsure how to respond to certain challenges in life, seek counsel, and then make your move.

Natural Reaction When Life Gets Hard
When life gets hard the natural reaction is to think life would be better if this or that would happen. Don't get caught up in the 'Grass is greener over there' syndrome. Learn to stay in the situation you are in now until you achieve happiness, before moving on to something else. Oftentimes, we jump out of the frying pan and into the fire, in an effort to escape from painful situations.

Natural Reaction When You Begin To Recover From Your Own Emotional Hurts
Oftentimes, when we begin seeing areas in our own lives that need change, we tend to see them in other people's lives as well. The temptation may be to, insensitively, tell others what their faults are, thereby causing hurt to both of you. Learn to be lead by God when sharing information related to someone else's recovery from emotional wounds.

Natural Reaction When You Are Healed from Fear
Oftentimes, when we get free from fear, we can tend to become too bold and 'full of faith', and attempt trying things that can lead us, once again to hurt and suffering. Use your new found freedom wisely. Boldness should be tempered with wisdom.

Natural Reaction When feeling Anxious
Oftentimes, when we become anxious the natural is for us to become more busy. You figure that if you can stay busy, you won't have to face those nagging thoughts. Well, the proper way to handle anxiety is to slow down and identify what is trying to steal your peace. Once you identify what the problem is, you find out what the Bible has to say about it, and you use the Word of God to correct the wrong mindsets. And you keep meditating on God's Word until the solution goes from your head to your heart. Once the truth is in your heart, you'll never have to battle that problem again, and you'll enjoy perfect peace.

Natural Reactions To Being Violated Sexually
Often when people are violated sexually they begin judging themselves as bad, dirty and unfit to be loved by people or God. And consequently they don't tell people that they have been violated and so they carry this terrible weight of guilt and shame. The truth is God is deeply pained by your pain and longs to free you from this excess 'baggage'. If somebody has hurt you so badly that you feel terribly shameful, seek the help you need. Let God come into your pain and help you forgive the perpetrators, so you can be healed emotionally and enjoy the rest of your life.

Natural Reactions To Being Hurt By People In Your Church
One of the main reason's that Christian's find themselves unhappy is because they have allowed a bad experience at a church to cause them to become unforgiving toward another member of the church, unforgiving toward the whole church and even unforgiving to the whole denomination or church in general. Because people make mistakes, it is inevitable that you will one day be hurt at a church. Don't your natural reaction to the hurt cause you to lose your peace and your open communication with God. You will find that over time you will be the loser. So it is best to resolve the hurt as soon as possible (Don't let the sun go down on your wrath Eph. 4:26), and go on, with your joy and peace intact.

Tip
If you are a person who is hurting emotionally, you may find that your worst enemies are your
natural reactions to both the good and the bad things of life. Check yourself constantly, and if you have reacted negatively, go back and make it right, otherwise you may be digging yourself deeper into problems. The best thing, of course, is to resolve the inner pain, learn positive ways of reacting to life, and then enjoy life to the fullest.
 

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